Liverpool, Muzzeees and white vans.

Was in Liverpool recently doing the coffee room shuffle (a sort of non-alcoholic pub crawl) Weird places coffee rooms - outside London virtually unheard of 10 - 15 years ago, yet now they inhabit every highstreet - even Wigan (not the end of the world but you can see it from there!!) has 6+  !!! 
They seem to be frequented by foreign men - immigrants/asylum seekers/illegal aliens, who are very idiosyncratic - very physical, (well far more than any Englishman who is sober and not following a football team!!) closely bonded, amiable and very respectful of white local men, well they are with me (perhaps they identify/ admire my beard!!) 
It does seem the coffee rooms have replaced the ordinary pub for lunchtime or daytime refreshment - it certainly is for muslim men who originate from cultures which ban alcohol.

Later that day I had a run in with a white van man - these are males who have a rough approximate relationship with most things - the highway code, possessing a driving licence, the highway code, full insurance cover, personal hygiene and the highway code. 
Anyway this guy was driving a huge white van  and was responding to a police car whose siren was blaring and blue lights flashing, by trying to clear a path for the emergency vehicle......... now lets just pause there - a white van man trying to be courteous to another road user - a police car!! - his experiment with courtesy was by driving onto the pavement and nearly knocking me over. 

Twice he came onto the pavement and twice he nearly knocked me down! He was concentrating so much on his rear view mirror he completely forgot about what was at the end of his front bumper -ME !!!

I advised him carefully and succintly as to his shortcomings as a driver but amazingly he attempted to justify his actions by alluding to the emergency rozzer mobile with siren and blue flashing lights. - I had a total sense of humour failure. 

Later on I wondered exactly what had this guy got in the back of his van that caused him to be so freakishly observent of the Highway Code - well not the bits about pedestrians having the right of way on PAVEMENTS!! 

= perhaps he was delivering a new batch of illegal aliens to the local Starbucks!!