some more general comments

         

           

Darth Vader caught in bed with vicar’s wife – may the farce be with you

Luke Skywalker is in music room with 6 choir boys – feel the farce Luke, feel the farce.     

    

 

Recently overheard conversation in the Trafford Centre food court - Went on holiday in Bulgaria – spent 2 weeks with no clothes as they lost my suitcase!!  My better half found it hilarious – until she realised her hair straightners were in my case

 Me – two weeks semi naked/scruffy/smelly       

 Her – FRIZZY

   

        Remember two wrongs don't make a right bit three rights make a left!

some general comments

What we have learned this week

Nick Clegg claims the Lib Dems are boxing above their weight – No Nick

Kerry Katona getting onto Celebrity Big Brother is boxing above their weight.

Stoke City playing in Europe is boxing above their weight.

Simon Cowell having a threesome based on his personality and not being a multi-millionaire is boxing above their weight.

All the Lib Dems are doing is boxing – adding a little veneer of credibility to the immoral Tories a bit like spreading a pristine, white embroidered table cloth onto a septic tank, the Lib Dems are merely boxing and are about to hit the canvas when the Boundary Commission have finished their work and no amount of smelling salts will bring them around and this ghastly, unseemly grab for power by the most minor of the three parties will be finally over, they are featherweights and always will be.

What we have learned this week

You have to admire Queen’s Park Rangers budget keeping efforts

i.e. sending players home by public transport

then again they may only be in the top flight for one season –

or about half the length of a Mexican marriage

What we have learned this week

Some council house tenants are buying old bangers and putting them in

their front garden on bricks along with kiddies trampolines and multiple

satellite dishes.

So that council snoopers don’t twig that they earn over £100k

What we have learned this week

The latest range of Tube trains will have driver cab luxuries such as

cappuccino machines and croissant warmers as befits higher rate tax

 payers earning £50k+ per year

No more egg rolls, mugs of Oxo and a rolled up Daily Star for them.

What we have learned this week

A young 10 year old boy was injured in East London today when he and his

spacehopper cleared the Olympic stadium roof.

It seems that the intrinsic, undeniable bounciness of the spacehopper allied

to the superbly bouncy Mondo running track proved to be an unbeatable

combination.

Assorted comments

Pompous old military type voice –

I think the word gay should be reclaimed by the good, honest, decent middle classes of the Home Counties. It should mean happy and care free. For example that nice Dr Liam Fox is always smiling and meeting good friends on holiday so why cant we call him gay in the original sense. of course nobody is saying he’s a bottom bandit he is just happy and GAY!!

Very posh clipped female voice -

Hello there, we have just won £101 million and though we have gone public everyone can bugger off!! Thank you.

Older cockney male voice-

The answer to the Olympic stadium problem is they should all ave it. So it would be the home ground for Crystal Orient West Hotspur –sea.       Dunno what division they would be in, though??

Remember two wrongs don't make a right bit three rights make a left!